CNN and MSNBC are reporting this morning that Hezzekiah Albuton never received his casserole dish back from Governor Palin.  This startling news came from our own Albert T. Buxley who flew to Juneau to investigate the sordid past of Governor Palin.  When asked to reveal the worst thing he knew about Sarah, Hezzekiah responded, “Worst thing?… Geez, I guess, ummm, I don’t think she ever returned that dish for the casserole I sent her.  It was non-sticking.”  Sarah will not be as lucky as Hezzekiah’s pilfered cookware, for this story will certainly stick.

It’s worth noting that a spokesperson for Governor Palin responded to our request for an interview with a, “Are you serious?  You’re not even real journalists are you?”

-Al Butternut, MSNBC/CNN Report

P.S. I love you Barack, signed A.B.

Editors Note: I have included both conservative and democratic responses in this blog.  Special thanks to Arnold T Buxmire, guest blogger.

Liberal Response - Arnold T Buxmire

“John McCain’s Blunder”

That’s your big move, Senator McCain, a woman?  She’s young, she has no experience with foreign policy and she is one pacemaker-assisted heartbeat away from the presidency.  But yes, she is a woman.  How long did it take your genius team of online graduates from the Karl Rove School for the Ruthless to come up with that?  I can see them now in their smoke filled room pushing photos of Romney, Pawlenty, and Mussolini across the table.   “Wait!”, says the new guy, “Obama has pissed off the Clinton voters.  What if we pick a woman…?  We could bring them to our side.”   The truth is, this election has more to do with race and sex than a beer-fueled NASCAR singles mingler at the local trailer park.  (Wanna see my 1:15 scale Tony Stewart tatoo?)  But back to the beltway for a minute.  If you Republicans really wanted to make a splash with Democrats, you would have selected an ugly woman.  Sorry, John, so close, yet so far away.

Conservative view -

Well done, John McCain.  Just when the Dems thought it was safe to go back to Starbucks and open their laptops you plunge a 5′10″ bombshell wedge right through the middle of them.  What next?  Are you going to reveal that she sings Cher cover songs at the local Moose Meat Club in Juneau?  But I am sure Barack is regrouping right now inside the Temple at Olympus.  Go ahead, Barack, reach back into that vast experience of community organizing.  What to do?  What to do???? you ask yourselves.  Unfortunately, your only answer then won’t work now.  Jeremiah Wright cant (and probably wouldnt) help you now.  And William Ayers is a coward who hides behind stoned college kids.  He doesnt have the influence to push you over the top.  Sorry, Barack, to quote Mr. Lebowski, “The bums lost.  Your revoultion is over.  I suggest you go and do what your parents did.  Get a job!”  By the way, I wonder how Barack’s grandparents (you know, the typical white people) feel about having their grandson be the first (sorta) black man be nominated president?  I would guess they fell pretty embarassed for the world to see what a wormy, freak little Barry Hussein has turned out to be.  Why can’t you be more like your brother, Barack, you know, George?  The brother you left in Kenya to live off a dollar a month and fend for his life?  Or would helping your brother be to go against the spirit of your dad?  you know, the guy who left little care packages of joy littered across two continents.  How many more Barry Hussein’s are hiding in remote villages of the world?  Too bad daddy didnt love Barack.

Today in a surprise ruling the administrator of GoScrappyGo.com/Blog ruled that the Fariness Doctrine applies to this blog.  As such, goscrappygo.com has invited Arnold T. Buxmire, an ardent liberal to blog and counter punch the right wing view point of this site.  We welcome Arnold T. to the blog and expect that he will provide the necessary “Yang” to goscrappygo’s “Ying” or vice-versa.

With no further adieu, we have included Mr. Buxmire’s first blog herein:

Greetings fine readers of GoScrappyGo.com.  I am honored to write for this website and look forward to interacting with you, the readers.  As you may or may not already know, I was invited to represent the Democratic view point to balance the Republican position on this site.  For my first blog, I find it appropriate to comment on the current DNC in Denver.  This year I was fortunate enough to make it to Denver to be a part of the festivities.  As such, I feel uniquely qualified to provide you with the “man on the street” viewpoint.  First, let me clear the air on the Clinton-Obama “rift”.  Hillary has her supporters and Obama has his.  Of course her supporters are disappointed she lost, they wouldn’t be true supporters if they felt any other way.  But to think they will not vote for Obama in Nov is ridiculous.  John McCain might be a maverick, but he is no William J, if you know what I mean.  I met one lady from Wisconsin who had followed Hillary since Iowa in a tent trailer all the way to Vermont.  When I asked her why she came to Denver, she simply answered, “To support my party, no matter who the nominee is.”  I couldn’t have said it better myself.  The fact is, McCain represents 8 more years of failed policy in Iraq, our economy, and on the major social issues of the day.  We simply cannot afford to continue down the same road. Point taken?

Now, onto another topic… I like to do my homework, so I was watching Hannity Colmes last night and I saw that beast Sean Hannity harrassing Gov Dukakis to provide specific achievements of Barack that qualified him to be president.  Now I am sorry, but that is just a cheap trick.  It’s cheap because Barack isnt running on his record.  He’s running on his newness and judgement.  He is fresh, not part of the establishment.  True, he is inexperienced in many government matters, but that doesnt mean he is dumb.  Barack was right on the war, right on Energy, and right on the economy before McCain flip-flopped to those same positions.  So my answer to Sean’s question would be, “His specific accomplishment is he has avoided being a Washington Insider and has instead proven that he can balance home life, church life, and a political life successfully.”

Well, that’s all I have for now.  I look forward to many more posts on GoScrappyGo.com.